GOD?

I have always considered myself a Christian, but that title does not come close to describing my faith, nor does it reveal the truth about my lack of faith. I am very honest about the fact that the biggest reason I am a Christian is because I was raised that way. And I absolutely believe that we all have souls, and I cannot fathom the idea that this was all a coincidence and that there is nothing left of us after we die. I feel very strongly that there is something greater than ourselves and that there simply has to be an afterlife. Basically, I could write a hundred blogs about religion, and I just might, but right now there is something particular about my "religion" that is bothering me, so I'll just get to the point...

God is a man, right? He, with a capital H, is a man. Well, I have a problem with that. I mean, how is that supposed to make me feel? I'm a woman, but God is a man, and I'm still supposed to feel like I'm equal to a man? And men are supposed to view us as equals when they believe that our creator, the alpha and the omega, yata yata yata is a man, just like them, and not a woman, like me. And it's not just God. Jesus was a man, and so was Muhammad and Buddha, et cetera, et cetera. The Bible is full of leading men, to which women are simply supporting characters. Adam was created first, and THEN Eve. But, of course, Eve was the first to sin. Playing devil's advocate, doesn't the idea of God as a man sound like the best idea the patriarchy's ever had? In a world where virtually every creator and center of faith and worship is male, the inevitable byproduct is sexism and rule by the patriarchy. And that's exactly what happened. We are still so far from equality between the sexes that it's ridiculous. 

The earliest modern humans worshipped women, and their main reason for doing this was the fact that from women came new life. They were ignorant to the fact that men also played a part. So, for this precious moment in time, women were on top. And, I mean, if you think about it, it's pretty amazing, and it's no wonder that men were so fascinated by women. But it didn't take them long to figure out how that baby got in there, and everything changed. 

So, I am refusing to believe that God is a man. My best guess is that God isn't really human-like at all, but something we simply cannot fathom. Of course humans claimed that they were created in the image of God, humans would be that arrogant. And it's understandable to want to feel like God is something normal, familiar, with a kind, human face. And I acknowledge with disdain that the Bible is pretty sexist. Does this mean I can't be a Christian? Nope. It's just one more thing to add to the list of things within the Christian faith that I don't go along with, and it's one of the things I will continue to struggle with.